Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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