living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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