I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
