i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
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