whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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