She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
