You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
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