Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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