2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
My penis needs a shock collar
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
