I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
