Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
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