I'm sorry my penis didn't work
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
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