scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
