just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize