While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
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I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
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if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
All I want is dick and wine.
Randomize