dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
