Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
