Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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