Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
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after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
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Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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