You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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