i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
