that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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