oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
one two three fourrrrnication!
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
