after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
