You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
