Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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