69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize
