dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize