I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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