she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
This is the high leading the old right now
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
