you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Randomize
