***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Randomize
