I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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