we have pet lesbian snakes
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
