I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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