We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
