perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
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