I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Randomize
