he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
its liver damage thursday
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
