Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
