After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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