the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
