We're like a lot better than the average bears
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
