I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
