I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
