so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
The feeling are messing with the penis
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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