how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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