Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
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You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
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I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
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