Cold hands, warm shart.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
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