I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
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I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
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To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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