he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
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