were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Can you bring me the toilet please
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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