Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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