My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
