I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
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It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
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