What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Randomize
