he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
