So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
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If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
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My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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