is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
My bed smells like the plague
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