Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
