That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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