someone threw a dead crab at me
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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