I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
