ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
