I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
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